Friday, March 22, 2013

Femme-spiration Friday: Blair F@!%ing Waldorf

(guest post courtesy of M&M's rambly college friend Caroline)

No one ever believed Gossip Girl when she told us we should be caring about Serena. I didn't care how many previews ended with her staring blankly off into Grand Central, because the second Blair Waldorf strutted onscreen, it was over. Not only did she have more than three facial expressions, but she was the kind of person who said the word "pleased" because "happy" would be too pedestrian. She was a fiercely loyal friend with an emphasis on the "fierce," and her smirking, gliding confidence had just enough bite and brittleness underneath to keep an entire show afloat. (Seriously. I went through some terrible shit on this show just because Blair might show up and roll her eyes hard enough to seismically shift the room and swallow up the idiots breathing her air.)

Anyway. It's fitting that Blair had a carefully complex wardrobe to match her personality - think J. Crew meets Victorian England. For the first (glorious) two seasons*, they were still in private high school, which meant they were usually stuck in uniforms. Still, Blair soldiered on with the help of colored tights, lockets, Peter Pan collars and strategically placed ruffles.

I didn't say it was a STRICT uniform.

Then she would pull something like this tie, blazer and tutu combo and slay the hearts of queer femmes everywhere (this one's for you, Melina):

Shut up.

And of course, there's no talking about Blair without talking about her headbands:

Through thick and thin, candy-striped and face obscuring....

They were Blair's signature statement pieces; she treated them like tiaras. And if I could ever get a headband to stay on my hair without slipping into an accidental pompadour, I'm sure I would, too. 

She was a fan of formalwear, but since one of these typical outfits costs more than my rent (for the year), I usually just stick to the headbands...even though those probably cost more than my rent, too. But honorable mention to this Audrey Hepburn-esque number, which definitely strengthened my instinct to go for black and sparkly in formal situations:

"The most important parties to attend are the ones you're not invited to."
 Though to be fair, it probably helped that she was up against this traveling circus of scraps from the bottom of the dress up box:


And before I hand this blog back over to Melina and Meg, a quick note about Blair's sleepwear:


 We get it, Blair. You want to lounge with piles of grapes and look stupidly perfect while doing it. Fine. Good. You've earned it. So if you want to do the world's tamest yet most erotic striptease down to this slip...

You're Blair fucking Waldorf. Go nuts.


*clearly, I love Blair - but it wasn't enough to get me past season three, so yes, these are all from the first few seasons.

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